Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Finn stayed in nursery all by himself again today. I spent most of my time walking Mason up and down the hall, but let's face it. Mason wasn't fussy; I just had to peer into the window to spy on my little man. He did so great. Cried once or twice, only to be easily soothed by the sweet nursery leaders we have.

So Finn loves nursery. It's so great. He's becoming independent- that's what I've been trying to teach him from day one, right? Then why did I cry like a baby tonight after putting my sweet big boy to bed? I was sitting here tonight and it hit me like a freight train; the sickening, awful truth: my babies are going to grow up. One day he won't need me any more; at least not the way he does now. There are moments when the sheer knowledge of that fact takes my breath away. It makes my heart nearly stop. I want to hold my boys and lock ourselves in the pantry, away from time and change.

But then I think back on my life, and all of the beautiful, happy, wonderful experiences I've had. And how grateful I am to my parents for enabling me to experience life. And I think how incredibly filled with joy I am at the thought of giving that gift to my sweet boys. Although I am truly the one receiving the gift; being able to watch them grow; watch them assert themselves, form opinions, discovery things. I will watch them love, watch them be kind, watch them change the world.

But for now I am content to squeeze them every day. To watch Finn tickle Mason and give him kisses. Listen to Mason coo and giggle, trying to roll over only to get stuck on his arm. I'm happy to clean up all of Finn's peas that he's thrown on the kitchen floor, to clean up milk for the 17th time in one day, to lose so many hours of sleep. Some day Ill sleep soundly, only to wake up with a yearning for my little boy to hold out his arms and want nothing but to be held by his momma.

I love these little boys more than life itself. If the world could truly see their beauty, I'm pretty sure it would stop spinning for a moment. And maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing; an extra day with my babies. I'd take it.

Is This Real Life?

A while back I read an article about how so many moms post on Instagram or blog pictures of their daily life or pics of their kids looking perfect and how it kind of makes everyone else feel they have to keep up. Like you have to pretend that your life is perfect to be happy.

Well, I'm here to say that my life is far from perfect and I'm still happy! I took a few pictures around my house to illustrate the point. You can judge me or think what you will, but I'm proud of my messy, imperfect life. And I'm happy because of it; not in spite of it. LIFE is a beautiful mixture of messy, ugly, insanely difficult things and some beautiful beyond description, joyful, can't stop laughing until you cry kind of things.

This is real life baby.


Real Life Picture #1: My Pantry. Finn can now grab things off the shelf, so what used to be a nicely organized clean pantry is now a mess because I have to put things too high for him to grab. Also it's messy because if I want to eat anything without him knowing and therefore begging for it, I have to sneak in the pantry in the dark and shovel in what I can before he finds me. I'm not joking.

Real Life Picture #2: Finger prints all over the mirror. Might I add, the mirror is for the wall but has remained on our floor propped against the wall for our ENTIRE THREE YEARS of marriage. Yep. I'm classy. At least my bed is made!

Real Life Picture #3: Laundry. Just when you think you've gotten it all under control, you blink and it turns into this. I'm not even sure why our laundry hamper is on top of a small table. 

And Finally . . . while trying to take a cute picture of Mason in his big boy clothes, Gideon also got these shots. Finn trying to steal his blankie back and my muffin top in all it's glory. Just to prove that you don't need a great body or a clean house to be a happy momma. I've got chubby belly and it's ok. Who wouldn't trade their six pack for those two little cuties?

Mason's Blessing Day

Had to throw this one in. Getting his beauty rest for his big day!

What a sweet day today. I kept finding myself choked up with emotion. Even now as I type I'm fighting back a few awkward tears. :)

We blessed our sweet baby boy today. Our SECOND baby boy. That was kind of surreal. Gideon was saying the blessing while I tried to pacify a screaming Finn. But somehow that made it all the more special. I know some people look at families with lots of young kids who are loud in church and leave the bench with a few crunched Cheerios and think "what a nuisance," but in my opinion there is something celestial about those sweet innocent little ones and parents just trying their best to do right by their kids. I felt that today. I know that this is absolutely the right path for us and the right way to do things for our family. I felt so happy and peaceful with my beautiful family that God has so graciously blessed me with. I don't think I've done a single thing to deserve such wonderful people in my life.

Part of those special people in my life are my husband's family. I love my own family as well and I feel so incredibly blessed to have gained a second family. Not everyone can say that about their in laws and I recognize what a special thing that is. We had everyone over for lunch afterwords and it was loud, crowded and ended in a mess. And I loved every single second of it. I would trash my house every day if it meant I got to spend more time with these people that are so close to my heart.

And in one final literary display of cheesiness and sentiment, I have to say how grateful I am for THE most special person in my life; Gideon. I was just overcome with happiness today and so much of that comes from him. He is so quick to drop whatever he's doing to help his stress case of a wife solve her problems. He is truly a kind, kind man. He works incredibly hard and gives so freely of himself. He loves our children more than perhaps any father ever has (I know you moms are all saying no way!), and his very existence gives me more happiness than I ever thought possible.

To sum it all up, it was a very good day. I am so very grateful.

Date Night

Friday night Jared and Lynn came down and babysat both of our boys, plus had their little girl (3 kids under 2), so we could go on a date, just the two of us. We can't thank them enough!! It was magical.

We kept it simple; a half off coupon for our favorite sushi place made for a good deal. While we waited for a table we strolled the river woods and we bought some bath and body works candles (after making poor Gideon help me pick a smell. How does it all smell the same to guys?). We window shopped at a few more shops as well. It was so nice to stroll hand in hand without the little ones crying or needing to be carried, etc. We were carefree and dare I say we giggled. . . We felt young again and it was so great. We finished the night with some yummy cupcakes and hot cocoa. And it's always fun to come home from a date to your kids sleeping peacefully and then have some fun hanging out with the babysitters! We love having our family so close and will be sad to leave in a year. Thanks again Jared and Lynn!

3 Months

Mason is three months old today. I really can't believe it's been 3 whole months. Where does time keep escaping to? Halloween is over and it's time for the holidays. Crazy! 

Our little Mason is getting way way too big. I pulled out some of Finn's old onezies for him today and found that he needs the 6+ months sizes. He's actually wearing a 9 month size right now and it fits pretty good. It's so funny because Finn was always too small for his "size" of clothes and Mason is too big. They are so different.

Mason is big enough to sit in the bumbo seat all by himself and does pretty good with his head. He is also becoming quite the social little boy! He is always so happy. All you have to do is look at him and he is all smiles. He is still sleeping through the night (at first I thought maybe it was a fluke). It's amazing. Last night he went to sleep at 9:30 and woke up to eat at 4:30, then went right back to sleep until 8. And every morning he wakes up smiling and cooing. It's so awesome. Finn didn't sleep that long until he was 9 months old! I am beginning to think that it will be possible to have more kids in the (distant) future. 

Finn is growing up so fast too. Someone tell my boys to stop growing!! Finn had such a hard time eating for a long time, but suddenly he eats almost everything (still has a hard time with slimy vegetables/fruits unless they're drenched in a tangy sauce like spaghetti or something garlicky). It's such a relief to put him in the highchair with food and HE EATS IN ON HIS OWN instead of it being a battle. At one point I was spending about 4 hours a day just feeding Finn. SO glad that stage is over. 

He has started talking like crazy. It's so cute. He can say a bunch of things, although they all are a little off, so only Gideon or I can understand them. Some of his words are baby-"bee bee," daddy, mommy, grandma -"ma ma," grandpa- "bom pa,"more -"mo," no no, dog, which is almost the same as blankie, ball- "baw,' and a few more. He says "dee dee" for blankie, which he is OBSESSED with. He has to have it while he eats, in the car, in the grocery store, etc. Lots of the time he just lays on the floor snuggling his "dee dee" and saying its name over and over, giggling. It's the cutest thing. He loves the corner fold of it and always finds it and sticks his finger in it. It's so adorable it kills me. Oh one more thing. Wherever we go, he waves bye bye to people (he can also say it). In Costco he just waves bye bye to the masses at the food court when we leave. Once a lady eating her pizza way in the back waved back at him. It was pretty funny. And he also thinks that every man older than 30 is a grandpa. He signs grandpa at people all the time and it's awkward because they think he's waving hi in a weird way. Then I have to explain that he's signing grandpa; I usually just say "you just look like my dad," which is a total lie 95% of the time. 

He is also obsessed with helping. I taught him how to say help, which is now "ha-pu." He hasn't quite figured out how to do a hard stop after the P sound. But now he loves to help me do everything and can say it, so I have to let him. It's really cute. He helps me mop, vacuum (holding onto it while I vacuum/mop), he helps me put the dishes away, put the clothes into the dryer, etc. He gets really mad if I put something away without letting him help. He even helps me when I dust-I just give him a clean rag and he goes to town wiping everything down. Oh and he also knows how to clean up his milk when he spills it. I just tell him to wipe it up and he grabs the towel and wipes it all up. It's so funny. Especially when he grabs Mason's dirty pants or something to clean it up. Classic. I think he needs a little toddler toy vacuum for christmas. 

These sweet boys are getting so big and I am so happy that I am home with them to watch them grow up every day. I love being a stay at home mom just as much as I thought I would. It's harder than I expected but way more fulfilling that I expected also. Having two kids has forced me to be more efficient with my time, and I am actually happier and more productive since I have gotten the hang of it. It's nice to always be busy. But you also enjoy the quiet time even more! I love my boys more than I can express and I couldn't be happier.