Friday, October 19, 2012

Mason's one month photoshoot

These are just a few of the gorgeous pictures that my sister in law Lynn took of Mason at one month. They are so beautiful and I'm absolutely in love with them!

We sure love our little Mason. Finn can't stop kissing him and saying "bebee" and giving him his binkie.

He is such a happy boy; he almost always wakes up cooing and doing the biggest smiles. He is already so social. It's so fun seeing how different he and Finn are. They sure look like brothers though! Mason is just so content o be, and he is already sleeping through the night (like 8 hours through the night)!!

We sure are lucky to have this new little boy in our family. I don't know what we ever did without him.

We love you Mason!


I've been pondering lately about my role as a mother and how I don't want to take this part of my life for granted.

I've always been a goal oriented person. I had a job from the day I turned 16 until I had my first baby. It was an adjustment to not work outside the home or be in school and have a list of things getting checked off.

It has been so wonderful though. It has been a good adjustment; like if a 500 pound woman got lipo and suddenly had the body of a supermodel; it would take some getting used to a totally different body, but it would be a NICE thing to get used to.

That's how I feel about being a stay at home mom. It's the best thing I've ever done. It's also the hardest. It takes more mental and physical energy than anything else in the world. But the love and happiness that the work yields is exponentially more than anything else.

Sometimes I catch myself longing to go back to school or take a part time job. There is nothing wrong with doing either of these things, and I have no judgement for anyone who does both, as every single situation is different. But right now, that's just not in the works for me. And I'm ok with it. Largely because the reason I want to do all those things is to feel productive. I tend to forget that raising my beautiful little boys is plenty productive!!

I am very very lucky that we can get by without me working right now. Gideon makes that possible (with some extra help from our father in heaven) and for that I will always be grateful. I just want to focus on being there for my kids.

I want them to remember me playing blocks with them on the floor and chasing them up and down the halls, not remember how clean our house was or that everything was always so organized. I want to foster their imagination and self esteem. I want to teach them to love; both themselves and others. To be kind. I want to teach them that its ok to be different and how to use their imagination. How to stick to their principles and still be understanding of others'.

I guess the point of this post is just to say that I'm so very lucky and blessed. I know that. I don't want to ever take this beautiful little family and my life for granted. Sometimes it's hard, it's true. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. But at the end of the day, I get down on my knees and thank God for giving me the most precious gifts I could ever ask for. And I'm so immensely grateful.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


I keep procrastinating posting about Mason's birth because it's kind of emotional to think about the whole process in detail. And by the time I have time at night to sit down and do it, I'm too exhausted from the day so I just don't post anything. DUMB!! I have the most beautiful pictures of this sweet boy's birth, and here they are. They tell the story alone, but I am just going to tell the simple story and keep all those emotions inside for another lengthier post.

August 1, 2012, 10:33 p.m.
7lbs 10oz, 21in

I had been to the Dr. that morning to be checked, and I was a 4. So I took Finn to target, even though I had been having contractions all day. Man did I regret that! I saw Miriam in the store and tried to keep conversation going while having contractions. . . awkward. I barely made it home and by then I knew I couldn't handle Finn and these hefty contractions, so I decided to go pick up Gideon from school. By the time I got to BYU, I knew we should just head straight for the hospital. So, we dropped my first baby off at Miriam and Aaron's house to hang out with cousin Jade, and headed off to bring baby two into the world.

I was sure Gideon would be back within a few hours to pick up Finn. After all, Finn's labor was only about 4 hours long and that was my first! I figured this would be a quickie birth. Done and done. Boy was I wrong. Our experience this time was slow and peaceful, in contrast to the crazy whirlwind experience we had with Finn's birth. I progressed slowly and at first it was really nice. Gideon was so wonderful and supportive and was so helpful. We had a beautiful, bonding experience together and I loved it. My midwife was amazing; I've never felt so taken care of by someone not my husband or mom. Everything was fairly manageable (relatively speaking). I was talking and laughing between contractions, proud of myself at how well I was handling this. But by the time I'd been there for 5 hours and I had only progressed 3 1/2 centimeters, I was at my breaking point. I had mentally prepared for the pain; but I had planned on pain for maybe an hour or two. True to it's character, labor isn't ever what you think it will be, even the second time around. Mason had turned posterior, or "sunny side up," and I was in hell (posterior babies are supposed to be way way way more painful than a regular birth. Having experienced both, I'd agree whole heartedly with that). I was on the verge of yelling very horrific obscenities when everyone agreed it was a good idea to just get a spinal. I was 8 1/2 centimeters and thought I was going to die when the man of the hour showed up: the anesthesiologist. That man has got a one way ticket to heaven for SURE. I got the spinal and 10 minutes later, Mason was born. Because I went from an 81/2 to 10 in about 2 minutes, literally, my sweet boys heart rate dropped to about 50 and things got crazy. Everyone was freaking out and told me to just push as hard as I could because we had to get him out NOW (she later told me if it had taken just a few pushes longer they would have done an emergency cesarean). So lucky for me Mason was low to begin with, and I only had to push through two contractions before he was out.

He actually didn't need any extra help, in spite of what they thought he would need given the drop in his heart rate. He was healthy, beautiful, perfect, everything I wanted plus 50 bucks. :) My sweet baby boy was finally in my arms and I couldn't have been happier. The nurses all commented on his long feet, which is the same comment Finn got. Just like his big brother. He calmed right down for me, snuggled his tiny, warm body up to me and we fell in love then. Really truly. It was 10:33.

Thank you to my sister in law Miriam for shooting the birth, even though she was about 29 weeks pregnant herself! And to Jared and Lynn for the equipment and editing. What a great team I have. :)

breathing through contractions 
gideon held my hand like a champ
see? I wasn't lying about laughing between contractions
when things started getting rough
trying out the birthing ball
 holding on for dear life
there are no words. If you haven't had a baby, you can't judge this face.
and, stiiiil no progress. a little annoyed.
then wham! baby. so. fast.

hi sweet Mason! 

proudest daddy I know

We have been in heaven with this little boy ever since. He has been sleeping through the night for almost a month (as in 6-10 hours a night)!! I am very very lucky, this I know. Finn adores him and can't stop kissing him and saying "beebeeee." It's obvious to me that these two have a special connection. We've started catching Mason smiling up at his brother quite frequently. It's beautiful. I am more in love with my little family than ever before. We are so content and happy and feel so blessed. God is good.