Loving Life in This Moment

What a great week it's been around here. Nothing that would seem amazing to anyone else looking in on our little lives together, but we've had a happy week.

Our little men are growing and changing every day. I keep wanting to write down the funny/cute things they say and do, but somehow I always forget. I'll try and recap some of the things that happened around here this past week.

Finn. That kid is really too smart for his own good sometimes, and it cracks me up watching the funny things he does and the way he uses his newfound independence as he gets older. A few weeks ago, I caught him peeing in the bathtub, so I grabbed a cup and caught the pee then rinsed it down the sink, so as not to soil the bath water. Well, the other day, as I was bathing the boys, I looked over to see Finn standing with a cup positioned ever so carefully between his legs, exactly where it needed to be to catch his pee. The kid was peeing on command, so as to fill his cup. Sort of gross but pretty funny, and I had a good laugh. Also noted: if he can pee on command, I see potty training in the very near future (waaaaaahhh, I'm TERRIFIED of potty training).  He has also been putting sentences together so well, it's just the cutest thing to listen to him try and get all the words in the right order. Sometimes he succeeds and is able to get his point across very clearly, and it's usually comical. The other night he climbed into bed with me (a recent development...I swore I'd never do that, but my bed is more comfortable than a toddler bed, so. . .),  and I had to get up with Gideon to help with Mason for a minute. Gideon got back in bed first, and for some reason Finn wasn't having it. I climbed in between them, and Finn pointed very deliberately out the door and said "Daddy GET OUT!!" over and over. It was so funny. Of course, we ignored him and fell asleep. You can only be asked to give up so much for your children. He has also been trying to understand lately why you can't just grab a picture of something, that it's not a physical object. On a flight home the other day, he was so upset that he couldn't reach through the window and grab a picture of the American flag that was on the side of an adjacent plane. So funny. He gets irritated that he can't pick up things right off the page. Cracks me up. He is also obsessed with REI, and recognizes the sign any time we drive past. Even in other cities, he if we drive by an REI, he shouts "aawww eeee iiii!!" He loves going there with Gideon to look and the boats and ride the bikes. A true Medley. He's also obsessed with fire trucks, firemen, fire, etc. He also knows where the mall is, and when we drive past, he begs to go to the "Malll!" And, when we drive through McDonald's (always just for me to get a Diet Coke), he says "mommy diet coke!?!" every time. So sad. One of the reasons why I'm trying to quit, but that's an entirely other blog post. . . There are so many other sweet and cute things, I'm sure, but I really need to start jotting them down every day. Needless to say, our sweet little Finny is growing up, and while I want it to stop sometimes, I am also surprised at how fun it has been to watch him grow up. He can communicate what he wants, he has a real sense of humor, he has opinions, and I love it all. He has become my little buddy I can talk to and he will talk back (although the conversation topics usually revolve around fruit snacks or fire trucks). I love getting to be best little friends with my little guy. It's just the greatest.

Mason. Oh, that boy. He is my very percotious little man. Walked at 9 months, down the slide solo at a year, and talking by his first birthday as well, he definitely keeps me running. It is only by the grace of God that the child has survived this long. Some of his favorite past times include jumping off of the armrest of the couch, running down the slide and face planting at the end, running around the house with his blanket over his head (thinks that one is particularly hilarious, until he ran right into the door frame. Don't worry, he was back at it five minutes later). He's getting really good at climbing things as well. The other day Gideon found him kneeling on top of the kitchen table, and I also found him on top of the TV stand the other day. He is CRAZY. He is also talking up a storm, it is the craziest thing to hear him speak. He can say REI like his brother, he says doggy, mommy, daddy, tractor, cracker, all done, outside, uh oh, please, cheese, dee dee (the official slang for blankie in this house), and he is also signing things like crazy, too. He will randomly bust out a sign for a word that I never specifically taught him (I think he's picking it up from Finn because we don't watch Baby Signing Time like we used to with Finn). Anyways, he's a wild one. He knows no fear and is always on the move. He will be 15 months on Friday, but since Gideon and I both serve in the nursery, we have him in there with us, and he loves it. Today, for the first time, he sat in his chair at the table for snack time and ate all of his snack, plus his brother's leftovers. It was so cute to see him sitting there, looking so grown up (and so small).

Time is going too fast. It's crazy to think that when Finn was the age Mason is now, I was 2 1/2 months away from having another baby. Things have gone so fast the past few years, but they've been awesome. We are so content and happy with our life right now. Of course, I'm already planning when the best time will be to have baby number three, and we are always making plans for the future, what our next move will be (move in life--not actual MOVE, although that is discussed as well). But we are really trying to live in the moment and enjoy things the way they are now. They will never be this way again. Life is always changing and moving and speeding along, and we can never have any phase or moment back. School was a special time, and yet we were always so excited to be done and move on to the next phase. Graduating college and settling in has made us take a step back and realize how each situation in life has it's pros and cons, but each has something valuable to teach and it's own special memories to give. We will never again long for the future or make complaints about a current situation. We have it pretty good right now, and we've had it good in the past. We are so blessed and our hearts are full. We are seeing the world in a new light, with optimism and gladness and while we look forward to new gifts the future brings, we are also enjoying the blessings of today. Especially our boys. These beautiful little loves of mine. What I wouldn't do for them. Life may be full of bumps and rolling hills and sometimes dark storms, but these little cherubs are the beacons of light that shine through the darkness and light the night sky, filling even the loneliest soul with hope, with brightness, with life.

So. In summary, life is good. We're happy. How happy? "Preeetty daaarn."

(If you don't know that line, I don't even know how to begin. Watch THE KID.)

Thoughts on Motherhood and Mountains

This blog is quickly becoming outdated, but I am still determined to keep it alive. Recently my thoughts have been on motherhood, as my heart has been extra full these days. Watching my sweet little boys grow has been such a sweet experience, and I have been reflecting on that a lot lately.

The past year and a half has definitely been trying, to say the least. Having two children 17.5 months apart was probably the hardest thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding and amazing thing I've ever done, too. The chaos is finally just beginning to calm, as the boys are getting a little older and becoming more independent. Recently I have had so many moments of clarity and spiritual insight that have allowed me to see a glimpse of God's plan for me and my family. I have drawn so much closer to Him through becoming a mother, and I know that it was His plan for us to have these two sweet little boys exactly when we did. While it is extremely difficult and trying at times, there are so many moments, so many days that I can't help but feel so blessed and blissfully happy at the gift God has given me. I have come to realize that it is through my relationship with Him that I will be able to give my children all the love and direction they need in this life, and that realization has made all the difference for me as a mother. 

These were my thoughts this morning, as we played inside on a wet, rainy fall morning, with sweet laughter and the sounds of little footsteps echoing through our humble abode:

The closer I draw to God and My Savior, Jesus Christ, the more motherhood becomes a joy and a blessing, and less of a battle. The closer I am to him, the deeper and more full my love is for these beautiful little souls. The more I lean on Him, the greater my patience, understanding, kindness, gentility and grace. In Him, I am whole. It is only in partnership with Him that I can rise to the tremendous call and duty that is motherhood.  Alone, it is a mountain too steep to climb, too treacherous to take on alone. But with God, motherhood is a beautiful ascent on the mountain of sacrifice, of love; one that brings us to its peak, able to see through the clouds, to see the sun resting softly on all things beautiful and real in the valley below that is life. Every day I continue to take steps upward and onward, and when I am led by The Lord, I am able to look around and see the indescribable, breathtaking beauty that surrounds me at every stage of the climb. I thank my God with all my soul for granting me this opportunity to draw nearer to him; for letting me experience a love that is second only to His love for each one of us.