I found this journal entry today. It was written right after Gideon got home from his mission. Although I don't remember writing this, I remember this night oh so well. I remember wondering what was in store for me, for us, as we figured out our feelings for each other. Looking back over the last 4 1/2 years of loving each other, it has been the most wonderful, amazing, sometimes bumpy, fulfilling and love-filled journey. It's been better than I could have hoped for. And now the images I always pictured in this entry are all coming true. I truly am so lucky.
*some parts are left out. Can't embarrass myself too much.
February 15, 2009
Gideon is home. Talked to him for an hour and 14 minutes tonight. I layed on my floor with the phone resting on my face curled up while his voice filled me up with happiness. I giggled at things that weren’t all that funny just because I felt like giggling because I felt so good. Then I also burst out laughing at hilarious stories he told me. I felt like a complete person again. I just realized today that I think I still love him . . .Hearing his voice, as we talked about how we both feel old for liking oatmeal, I just wanted to say ‘can’t we just get married and get old and eat oatmeal together all the time?’ I keep having this one vision of us (I’ve always had this vision with him) in the hospital with our first baby. I’m all stressed out and in pain in the bed and he is going back and forth down the hall to get me ice. I always picture him coming into the room and me feeling that calm that only he can make me feel . . .I’ve been so wishy washy lately about it but I am going to give it a shot. I think he’s my person. I think I want to spend forever with him. Marriage freaks me out except with him . . . I want to live forever with him and build forts and watch movies and bake cookies and stay up late hearing his funny stories and fight and make up and tell him his breath stinks and cry on his shoulder and let him feel my baby tummy.