Identity

As I sit down and put my fingers to the keyboard, the scope of my emotions is almost beyond words. At present, I am overwhelmed with pride, sadness, gratitude, love, and above all, an overwhelming sense of Identity.

I just saw a few minutes of a new broadcast. It was an in-depth look at the modeling industry. The reporter followed a few girls around New York City for a few weeks, interviewing them quite candidly about the way things work in the modeling industry. What I saw on this television show in just a few short minutes astounded me. These young, let me tell you young girls live a life that they seem to somewhat enjoy, but it makes my stomach turn thinking about the way they live. They don't know where their next paycheck is coming from, they starve themselves to be thin (or use other substances), and their entire self image is bases upon how much money they can make from a photograph or how frequently they get booked. Most of all, what broke my heart was to hear the stories of numerous models using their precious bodies to get ahead. One young woman told a gut wrenching story about being persuaded to participate in a sexual situation to get a photo shoot signing. I will spare you the details that she shared, but needless to say I was sick.

I know that things go on in the world that are awful. I know that there is little respect for our bodies and almost no respect for the sanctity of intimacy between a man and a woman. But to see it so raw really pulled at my heart strings. I feel so very very grateful to have a sure knowledge of who I am. I don't need to be a size two or have my picture strewn about in the media to feel good about myself. I know that I have come from a loving, glorious, wonderful Father in Heaven. I know that my spirit can remain beautiful and strong, even when my body fails and becomes weak and unattractive. I have the most beautiful, precious gift of having a wonderful, amazing loving husband who also sees this. And, together, we have used the sacred gift that God has given to man to create the most beautiful little boy. To me, in my life, he is the embodiment of everything good in the world. I am so much happier at home with him, changing poopy diapers and looking into his eyes as I rock him to sleep, than I could ever be at a job where my peers respect me and think I'm so accomplished. No greater love and sense of pride can be felt than by that of a mother and wife who loves her family and nurtures them with pride and love.

This sense of knowing who I am can be traced back years and years to the teaching I received as a young girl. I have since felt a great, calm and overwhelming reassurance through personal experiences that I am in fact a daughter of Heavenly parents and that I have infinite worth in God's eyes. But these words have always spoken strongly to me and seem fitting for how I am feeling tonight.

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love him.

We will stand as witnesses of God, at all times, in all things, and in all places,

As we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:

Faith

Divine Nature

Individual Worth

Knowledge

Choice and Accountablity

Good Works

Integrity and

Virtue.

We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation. 

What a sweet, peaceful reassurance these words bring to my soul.

Sunbeams and BYU

Gideon and I received the calling in our new ward to be the Sunbeams teachers. We are so excited about it! We team teach about 5 little ones, and we switch off every other week with another teacher.We taught our first lesson today titled, "I Can Be A Good Friend." It was an awesome two hours. Sharing time was such a blast, trying to keep the kids reverent while holding the girls on my lap, Gideon wrangling Finn, and amidst it all I had a little girl sniff my fingernails (I was wearing pink polish-she thought it might be scented??). We sang scripture power during singing time and man, did I miss that song! It's so refreshing to hear the simple truths of the gospel that are taught in primary. It's good for us to be in there and here those simple testimonies and gospel principles. On our way to class we did a potty/drink break. While in the bathroom one little girl pulled off her socks and shoes sitting on the floor waiting for the other girls who were actually using the restroom. So, of course, the other girls want to take off their shoes. I wasn't going to fight that battle; I said go ahead as long as you carry them back to class with you. In class we had a good discussion about Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, and how that was a kind thing to do for his friend. We also talked about the loaves of bread and the fishes that were dispersed among the 5,000 and how that all happened because of the little boy who shared what he had with the Savior. Other topics that came up randomly (mid-sentence) were Darth Vader hot air balloons, the fact that Jesus lives in the sky (and is also magical), the fair, and a couple "the gospel" answers. It was such a blast. We have the cutest group of kids. We are so happy to get to serve the sweet little kids in our ward and to feel a part of the ward.

In other news, Gideon just finished his first week at BYU. He got pulled over on his bike for riding during the break on campus (always a rebel ;)), which I really don't know when else you would ride your bike. During class?? But he loves his classes and is really enjoying being on campus where you can really feel the spirit and just enjoy the positive vibe. He is currently re-evaluating his degree options, so we'll see where we end up. Right now he's thinking of 3 options: Accounting, Information Systems, and Actuarial Science. If anybody has advice/insights to either of these three fields, we'd love to hear it! We will hopefully be done in about 3 to 5 years, depending on his major. I know, it's a long road. But we really are enjoying the good ol' days right now.

Other than that, I am officially addicted to spray painting stuff; Finn rolled over for the first time COMPLETELY on his own and on purpose today in the middle of sacrament on the floor; we don't sleep a lot, and we've been vegging out on candy corn. Can't wait for fall to get here! I think it's time to bake some pumpkin chocolate chip muffins this week.

That's our life as of late! Sorry for the outpouring of random factoids, but there you go. Happy labor day to everyone!