Everything

It's been quite a long time since I've done any kind of update on here. SO. Here it goes.

We went to Arizona during the first week of December, and I was a slacker and didn't get any pictures. It was a ton of fun though. So nice to just sit around my parents house, watch movies, play with my adorable niece and nephew, eat lots of food, etc. Awesome week. Thanks so much mom and dad for all the hospitality. It really was so wonderful being there.

Gideon finished finals, somehow managing to keep his sanity intact. He had to pull a few all-nighters, literally. Not an ounce of sleep. Poor guy. But I think it's all gonna be worth it to see his grades on Thursday. Now his big project is applying to BYU for the upcoming fall semester. We're crossing our fingers.

This is our apartment after the all nighter. Notice the suit cases still on the living room floor.

We finally got our Christmas tree up last week, and just decorated it this last Sunday. How horrible are we?!? I've never put up Christmas stuff this late, but in a way it's more special having it so close. My sister in law Lynn has had to remind me to finish making my stockings and do my decor. I'm so glad she does otherwise I would maybe have never done it this year!We had to buy some extra lights for the top half, and obviously they're not as bright as the ones on the bottom half. Oh well. And we're still working on the star.

Alas, the reason for all my Christmas procrastination has been partly due to the fact that all I want to do is sit on my couch and eat tums. The heartburn has been insane. If I take a sip of water, heartburn. If I eat ANYTHING, I get heartburn. Even now, just sitting here, I get heartburn. Gideon makes me what we call "the throne" in bed, consisting of a big blanket and about a million pillows behind me to prop me up so I can sleep somewhat comfortably while staying vertical. But I read that the hormone that causes heartburn also causes fetal hair to sprout, so the more heartburn you have, your baby is supposed to have more hair! Also, this little boy has taken up residence under my left rib. His new favorite spot. It's usually his little bum I can feel wedged in there, but sometimes I get a good kick and wow does it feel just great. I'm nervous that he still has to double his weight before he's born, cuz it's starting to feel pretty crowded in there already. Although I am grateful for every little kick or nudge these days. He gave us a scare last week. He is usually SUPER wild in there, but for two days he was so so calm and barely moved, so I had to go into the doctor and get a non-stress test. Pretty much they monitor his heart rate when he moves to make sure he has enough oxygen. Of course, as soon as they strap me up, he goes crazy. He's going to be so dramatic, I can already tell. But I was really relieved to know he's ok in there. Just needed a little attention. But really, overall, I'm feeling pretty good and I think the last few weeks has been the best part of my pregnancy. We just lay in bed at night and watch my belly do the wave while he moves around like crazy. It's so so fun. We are so excited to meet our sweet little guy.

29 weeks. This picture is almost a week old now. Sorry. I had Gideon take these at one in the morning, hence no face.

Also: We still have to name him! Suggestions welcome. So far we are thinking of naming him Finn. The middle name is Adam after my sweet brother who is special needs. So it would look something like . . . Finn Adam Medley. I also like Cash/Cache and a few others. Feel free to offer thoughts; I'll take the ones I like and ignore the ones I don't. Nothing personal. :)

Finally, the last thing to post is that this morning, we woke up to a winter wonderland! So pretty outside. There is about a foot of snow. I'm so excited to have a white Christmas!!

Quiet

I know it's been forever since I've blogged. I think that I always apologize on here for checking out for so long. I have a million journal entries from my younger years that start out the same exact way. "Sorry it's been so long . . ." yada yada yada. But truthfully, some strange part of me secretly feels in control and rebellious and independent when I don't share anything with anybody (not even myself on paper) for a while. Is that weird? Possibly I have issues. I probably do. But it got me thinking tonight. About being quiet. So many of us have those moments. They are a little more sporadic for me, since I am normally a pretty "loud" person, to say the least. But yes, even I enjoy my phases of not chatting away with someone ALL. THE. TIME. Do you know why? Because you get to really LISTEN. Just listen. Usually these quiet states of solitude are enduced by a trial, pain, or a deeply spiritual or personal experience which for some reason takes me days or weeks to quietly sort through instead of just during the closing prayer at church. I wonder about other quiet people. I've met them in grocery stores, I've done their hair, taken care of their sick loved ones, sat by them in church. How often do I stumble across someone in their "quiet phase," their transitional period between tough spots in life? How often have people met me and thought "what a quiet lonely woman," just because I had a bad day and couldn't muster up a sincere laugh at their cheesy joke? I wonder how many of them are the permanently-injured-type who desperately need someone to be their friend, and how many are the ones like me, having a brief lapse in their social life. But you know something? I don't think it really matters. Because whether you feel a certain way for a second or for eternity, it still is important and moving and monumental because you felt it. Either way, all of these ramblings come down to one boiling point: Sometimes there's nothing wrong with a little quiet.

Daddy's Little Boy

My dearest little man,

It's me, mommy. You don't know who I am yet, you only know the soft rocking of your constant warm little bath, my heartbeat, and maybe my wild laughter. And although I technically haven't met you yet either, I am really starting to know you pretty well. You like it when I lay on my right side, and when I kneel really awkwardly to say prayers. You always kick the most when I'm in those positions. You are a wild little one, just like your daddy. You kick me non stop and sometimes I really wonder what's going on in there. I know as soon as you can walk, you'll be crawling over things and jumping off of furniture way too high to be safe; again, just like your daddy.

Your dad and I always sit and wonder what you will be like, who you'll grow up to be, what your dreams will be. But something we already know and will always know is where you come from and what makes you you. I hope someday I can really, I mean really make you understand that you are the product of So. Much. Love. That two young kids sacrificed so much to bring you here, because we wanted to see your face, to meet you, to see what you might become, and to be allowed a brief moment to teach you a few things and mostly to have you teach us about love and about happiness. That two people will always stand behind you, hold your hand, throw everyone out of the way so you can pass, and cheer on the sidelines for you. That we wanted you, oh how we wanted you. That your place in the world will always be here, nestled between the two of us, safe and happy and loved.

I hope I help you see how much your father loves you. Some day when you are expecting your own little child, you will start to understand. Understand the excitement and pure joy that comes from anxiously awaiting the arrival of your own flesh and blood. Understand the sacrifices of a loving father; the long hours worked, the long nights of studying, the worry of the bills, the sheer exhaustion of life; all these sacrifices made because of the love he has for you, the little one he hasn't even met yet. Because he wants the very best for you, for your future. He worries about teaching you all the things of the world and the gospel, about life and about eternity. He loves you, a mind-blowing, heart bursting kind of love.

And so do I.

22 Weeks

This is per request of my mom. The belly has finally begun to grow at lightning speed. Two weeks ago you could barely tell I was pregnant. My tummy is getting so dry and I feel like I can actually feel it stretching every day! I feel our little guy bouncing around in there all the time. This whole baby thing is starting to feel more real this week because we bought our crib (thanks mom and dad!) and stroller/car seat. It feels strange having this empty crib in our house. We lay in bed at night staring at it, getting all excited to have a baby to put in there soon! We start our birthing classes on the 15th (hypnobirthing), so we'll see how that goes.

Happy Halloween and Merry Christmas

We have had such a fun week celebrating Halloween around here. Sunday night we put on Hocus Pocus in the background, ate sugar cookies until we thought we'd burst, and carved pumpkins. It was a fun night. Then on Monday we had a little Halloween party up in Salt Lake at Sarah's house with all of the family that lives around here. It was fun to get all dressed up. We all hid in different bedrooms with candy and the little girls came around and "trick or treated" to us each. What a fun night! So good to be with family and just have fun. Not to mention Sarah made some amazing chili and treats for us. Nothing better. But I woke up this morning to a car covered in snow, and I won't deny that I was blasting the Christmas music taking Gideon to school. I love the holidays and I am so excited that it's starting!

Jared and Lynn's pumpkins

Mine and Gideon's pumpkins

Sarah, Lynn, Hannah, Me and Kayla all dressed up

Gideon dressed up as Hiccup from HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON. He made the costume with everything from D.I! It turned out so great and the little girls loved it. I was a cat because, well, nothing else really fit.

Jungle Gym

Our little man is becoming quite the acrobat. I can feel him in there so often now! I swear he was doing somersaults tonight. And kicking on his way around. I think my bladder must be his biggest source of entertainment in there, because I'm pretty sure I had to get up and go tinkle about 5 times at church today. Literally. He must be having the time of this life bouncing up and down on that thing. But it's so worth it! I feel like I am getting to know him so much, just feeling him get stronger and more active (or just more cramped I suppose). I can't wait to meet him! His little face will never have enough kisses. I hope he's ready for this.

In other news, today was some major progress in this house. While I woke up nauseated and had to throw up a few times violently in the toilet, I felt better the rest of the day and made it through the full three hours of church!! That has only happened one other time since I've been pregnant. It was so nice. I really take for granted how spiritually refreshed I feel after attending all of my meetings. I was grateful for a good day of feeling good. And very grateful for a husband who does the dishes for me, offers to make me anything I want for breakfast, runs errands for me at the last minute, helps make sure we do our calling, rubs my feet, and is still willing to cook me a steak dinner at midnight when I get really hungry and too weak to cook anything myself. He is a real gem. I won't make him change too many diapers or get up too many times at night because he's practically been taking care of a baby this whole time!

Scripture Scouts!

Last night Gideon and I were reading in the Book of Mormon and he randomly decided to quiz me and see if I knew what the rameumptom was. I totally surprised him by busting out a song about that scripture story that I learned when I was like seven or eight. It's from Scripture Scouts, these cassette tapes my parents bought us and I would listen to them every night when I went to bed. We were laughing pretty hard as I sang the song. But after that I got totally excited about having a baby because now I have an excuse to buy the Scripture Scouts again! They really are a brilliant idea for kids to learn the stories from the scriptures. They have Book of Mormon, Old Testament, the Articles of Faith and the Family Proclamation. I LOVED these when I was a kid and I still remember the stories I learned from listening to them! I am buying these and our little boy will know them like the back of his hand. If you have little kids, you have to get these!!