It's Like A Dream

I found this journal entry today. It was written right after Gideon got home from his mission. Although I don't remember writing this, I remember this night oh so well. I remember wondering what was in store for me, for us, as we figured out our feelings for each other. Looking back over the last 4 1/2 years of loving each other, it has been the most wonderful, amazing, sometimes bumpy, fulfilling and love-filled journey. It's been better than I could have hoped for. And now the images I always pictured in this entry are all coming true. I truly am so lucky.

*some parts are left out. Can't embarrass myself too much.

February 15, 2009

Gideon is home. Talked to him for an hour and 14 minutes tonight. I layed on my floor with the phone resting on my face curled up while his voice filled me up with happiness. I giggled at things that weren’t all that funny just because I felt like giggling because I felt so good. Then I also burst out laughing at hilarious stories he told me. I felt like a complete person again. I just realized today that I think I still love him . . .Hearing his voice, as we talked about how we both feel old for liking oatmeal, I just wanted to say ‘can’t we just get married and get old and eat oatmeal together all the time?’ I keep having this one vision of us (I’ve always had this vision with him) in the hospital with our first baby. I’m all stressed out and in pain in the bed and he is going back and forth down the hall to get me ice. I always picture him coming into the room and me feeling that calm that only he can make me feel . . .I’ve been so wishy washy lately about it but I am going to give it a shot. I think he’s my person. I think I want to spend forever with him. Marriage freaks me out except with him . . . I want to live forever with him and build forts and watch movies and bake cookies and stay up late hearing his funny stories and fight and make up and tell him his breath stinks and cry on his shoulder and let him feel my baby tummy.

The Good Ol' Days

So Gideon and I decided that we'd better make the most of these last few weeks of not having a child in tow. Don't get me wrong, we're super excited, but there's some things we won't be doing again (alone) for a very long time. Monday was our day off, so we slept in until 11 (shameful, I know...) spent the afternoon going to the doctor then running a few errands, and by the time we got home I was pooped. So we got a redbox and ordered pizza. What a good night. It was so fun to be lazy and feel like we were dating again (movies on the couch, staying up late, etc ). Tuesday was crazy for Gideon with work and school, so somehow on Wednesday (our other day off) we slept in until 11 AGAIN. We keep saying we'll get up early and get a head start on the day, but really, why?? Soon we'll never sleep again. So we're soakin' it up. We went to the movies Wednesday night and loved it. Gideon only has classes 2 days a week this semester instead of 3, which feels like a HUGE change. Also, his classes aren't nearly as intense. It's been so so so wonderful to see more of each other and really get to hang out together. We went out for Sushi last week and have a few more places on the list to go. Of course, all these nights-on-the-town are funded by awesome coupon deals that we find and/or gift cards from Christmas. Couldn't have come at a better time! By 9 o'clock I'm dead tired and ready for bed, but it sure is fun enjoying the early evening.

Right now I'm washing a load of baby clothes to have ready when we bring this little guy home from the hospital. Also on the list this week: pack my hospital bag. The clock is ticking and I am officially anxious. I'm starting to realize that all the miserable symptoms that come with pregnancy are worth it because, at the end. . . you get a BABY!! We can hardly stand the wait at this point. The other night Gideon was asking me about everything that's going to happen in the delivery room right after I have the baby. (I plan to breastfeed right away, so he just wanted to know when it would be his turn to hold our little son). I laughed and told him he'd get to hold him right away! He was still a little serious and said, in the most loving and sweet tone, "Ok, just don't hog him, Ok?" I love that my little boy has a dad who is desperately in love with him already.

LOVE it.

Procrastination

For some reason, when I know there's something I should do, even if it's an easy thing, I tend to avoid it. Example: Blogging. Vacuuming. Returning a shirt to target that's been sitting in the backseat of my car (recently moved to the trunk) for weeks. I really don't know what my problem is but I should really teach myself to get over it. Really. So after I post this . . . I . . .will . . .vacuum.

Christmas was wonderful! We spent Christmas Eve with Jared and Lynn. Lynn made us dinner and I made cheese balls and sugar cookies and we watched it's a wonderful life. Christmas day we headed up to the Smylie's for some family togetherness time. It was such a good holiday. We stayed up way too late, ate way too much and talked until my throat hurt. We loved it. We also managed to get up to Salt Lake to see the lights at temple square. It was FREEZING but the lights were so pretty! New year's came and went, and so far at the top of my new years resolution list is to expel a baby!! Seriously, my list looks like this. . .

Have the baby

Run a 1/2 Marathon (by September)

Birth the baby

Read the Book of Mormon

Get the baby out.

I always dreamed of being pregnant and while I have LOVED so many aspects of it, I admit it's not quite all it's cracked up to be. Today I got caught by surprise with a vomiting spell and it happened on my carpet. ON MY CARPET. Isn't that what people say about their two year old who got sick?!? Not to a grown woman. I have about this much pride left. I have a bum in my left ribs and two feet in my right, and a very hard head on top of my bladder. But I have to say, I love feeling so close to this little boy who will one day think I am such a dorky parent. I love feeling him try to get comfy in there or have the hiccups. I just think my skin might tear open at any moment, so it's a good thing he is coming out soon (hopefully). It really is a mix of emotions. I love knowing he's safe in there but I also just want him to come out so badly. Seven weeks and counting. I am so excited to meet this wild little man!

Also: I was deathly ill all last week and now that I am recovering, I seem to have lost more brain cells. I don't know if this is post sickness brain fog or pregnancy related, but I really am the biggest space case on the planet. So please excuse me if you have a conversation with me and it seems as though I'm not all there.

The temple looked so beautiful with all the trees lit up around it!

A little too frozen for a real smile from either of us . . .

The belly has come in handy for eating on the couch!

32 weeks. Sorry I always post these pictures so late that it's almost time for another. I'm now 33 weeks.

And finally, a picture of my wonderful husband, apron and all. This was on Christmas Eve, helping me cook. He has been such a great help during this pregnancy with stuff, especially in the kitchen! Love you honey.

The Lion King

I couldn't look at the pregnant runner lady any more. Thank goodness for a new reason to blog. Gideon and I went to the Broadway Across America performance of The Lion King last night. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera at home, so you don't get any new pics. Sorry. We had such a blast though! We got all dressed up. Gideon wore a bow-tie and I wore a silk dress, which barely fit me. I'm drawing near to the end of non pregnancy clothes. We made a night of it and went up to the Happy Sumo in salt lake before the show. I found out that my all time favorite sushi roll is actually cooked, hence safe for a pregnant lady. (Sadly, making me a not-so-hard-core sushi eater. Oh well.) I was a happy camper eating til my belly was full (that rarely happens lately). The show was AMAZING!!!!! I've seen a few productions like Les Miserables and Phantom, but this was different. The costumes were seriously out of this world and that little lady who played Rafiki speaking in actual african dialect? Too much. Plus the music . . . oh the music. Gideon loved it SO much, and that's really what made me happy. I was so excited for him to see something so cool. Especially because he LOVES the original animated movie. It was just so great seeing the play. Anyways. All in all it was such a fun night to go out. We are really trying to take in the joy and the luxury of having date nights without phone calls to a babysitter worrying about the little one. We are so excited to get her/him here, but are cherishing our last few out-on-the-town dates. It might be a while til those come back around.

Bahamas

So Gideon and I finally got to go on our honeymoon. It kinda counted for our anniversary trip too, since it's been a year since we got married. Thanks to my parents for some help getting to Florida. We cruised for 4 nights in the Bahamas. It was so fun to just eat, sleep, and be lazy. Highlights: Getting offered weed in Nassau; being so sunburned after snorkeling that all we could do was lay on our stomachs and occasionally rub aloe vera lotion on each other's shoulders; the waiter who actually picked up my fork and fed me my shrimp; the asian waiter who LOVED saying Gideon's name and so, he said it all the time; the violin player who only remembered certain words to songs. We had a ton of fun. Here are a few pictures.

How to make a pregnant woman sick 101

Our little crab we found on the beach. He was fast!

Nassau. What a cute little place!

Our ice cream man. I think the heat was getting to us.

Cheesy tourist pics. Gotta have some of those!

Every night, our room attendant would make these little animals out of towels.

Formal night in the dining room.

Snorkeling! It was so fun. The water was so clear!!

Asleep in the airport.

This guy had us laughing every night.

A Man

Gideon is at school right now. Drilling things into his mind that he slightly cares about, all for something he really cares about. His family. I slept in until eleven a.m. today. Him? He came to bed two hours after I did last night, about 1:45 in the morning. He was up doing homework. So dilligent. Then he woke up without the slightest hint of a complaint about the sheer exhaustion I know he feels, at 8:00 a.m. Before he left, he woke me up so we could kneel in prayer together to start the day. Ok, I use the word "kneeling" loosely here. For me at least. My heart is a little swollen as I sit here, in my cozy quiet little one bedroom apartment, enjoying the slowness of my day today as he is working away somewhere. I love that man. His hard work and kindness and positive attitude have molded my world into something more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

365 Days.

Today is our first anniversary! This year has seriously flown by soooo fast. We have been so happy and I'm happy to say that we are even more in love than the day we got married last year-if that's even possible. Gideon surprised me today by having these beautiful flowers sent to me at work! He even picked out the ones that were pink and orange, our wedding colors. How thoughtful! I have never ever ever been given flowers in my entire life (except from my parents after my ballet recital when I was 5. Thanks guys). I felt like a million bucks! After I got off work, Gideon took his break early so we could go to lunch together. While we were eating our kneaders in the car, "our song" came on the radio! It is a really old kinda stupid song that you never hear, so it was awesome. Made us laugh that we used to love such a dorky song. We are going out Monday to actually celebrate though, with a couple's massage and dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Yum! But today was a great day. I am so lucky to be married to such an amazing man who makes the world a better place and who makes me a better person. Thanks for a great day, Honey! Love you!

Here are a few pictures of our wedding day. . .

And some old photos of when we first started dating, almost 4 years ago! Crazy.