Arrival

Finneas Adam Medley
"Finn"

Sunday, February 27th
5:23 a.m.

6lbs 13 oz.
18 1/2 inches long

His birth was amazing, spiritual, exhausting, triumphant. He is beyond beautiful. We love him more than we knew we could ever love another person. He is such a happy, easy going baby and we are so lucky to call him ours! I will post the full story of his birth soon. Today he is one week old and he has already changed so much. So now I have to go snuggle him on my chest, and leave blogging for another day.

It's Like A Dream

I found this journal entry today. It was written right after Gideon got home from his mission. Although I don't remember writing this, I remember this night oh so well. I remember wondering what was in store for me, for us, as we figured out our feelings for each other. Looking back over the last 4 1/2 years of loving each other, it has been the most wonderful, amazing, sometimes bumpy, fulfilling and love-filled journey. It's been better than I could have hoped for. And now the images I always pictured in this entry are all coming true. I truly am so lucky.

*some parts are left out. Can't embarrass myself too much.

February 15, 2009

Gideon is home. Talked to him for an hour and 14 minutes tonight. I layed on my floor with the phone resting on my face curled up while his voice filled me up with happiness. I giggled at things that weren’t all that funny just because I felt like giggling because I felt so good. Then I also burst out laughing at hilarious stories he told me. I felt like a complete person again. I just realized today that I think I still love him . . .Hearing his voice, as we talked about how we both feel old for liking oatmeal, I just wanted to say ‘can’t we just get married and get old and eat oatmeal together all the time?’ I keep having this one vision of us (I’ve always had this vision with him) in the hospital with our first baby. I’m all stressed out and in pain in the bed and he is going back and forth down the hall to get me ice. I always picture him coming into the room and me feeling that calm that only he can make me feel . . .I’ve been so wishy washy lately about it but I am going to give it a shot. I think he’s my person. I think I want to spend forever with him. Marriage freaks me out except with him . . . I want to live forever with him and build forts and watch movies and bake cookies and stay up late hearing his funny stories and fight and make up and tell him his breath stinks and cry on his shoulder and let him feel my baby tummy.

Beginning of The End

35
1/2
weeks.

Am I really almost done? Part of me can't believe this crazy journey of being pregnant is actually coming to an end. It's surreal. While most of me is so uncomfortable and tired and ready to not grow a human being any more, there is a tiny part (a rather big part tonight) of me that is sad to see the stage end. The stage of my sweet precious little boy, all nestled safe and sound inside of me. He is safe from everything in there. No one can tease him or make him feel less than he is. Nothing can damage his spirit, make him afraid. There are no scraped knees or elbows, no bloody noses, no tummy aches where he is right now. And I really think I will miss him when he's here. How, you ask? I just think that in the quiet moments in the night or early in the morning, or when I'm alone somewhere, I will miss his stubborn and deliberate movements inside me. Don't get me wrong, I am so ecstatic to meet this little man, to hold him, to gaze into his eyes that are half mine and half the man I love; I just don't want to forget the feeling of always being able to keep him safe. The feeling of anticipation, of wondering who he is, what his little nose will look like, if he'll have my feet or his daddy's, if he'll be as stubborn as me or as easy going as his father. But really, truly, I can't wait another second to have his wrinkled, warm, little red body in my arms, screaming to the world that he's arrived. I already have a feeling that he's going to be a real go-getter, that he'll be a wild little boy, and mostly, that I'll be so in love with him that my world will stop. I can't wait.

*Thanks to my sister in law Sarah for the amazing pics. Check out her site: mymatilda.com

My Matilda

My sister in law, Sarah, is an amazing photographer. She just started this new business and it's AMAZING. Check our her site:
MyMatilda

Breakfast

Nothing says pregnant like turkey sausage, peaches, mango salsa and some orange soda for breakfast. Plus the fact that I'm finally eating breakfast at 1 pm.

YUM.

The Good Ol' Days

So Gideon and I decided that we'd better make the most of these last few weeks of not having a child in tow. Don't get me wrong, we're super excited, but there's some things we won't be doing again (alone) for a very long time. Monday was our day off, so we slept in until 11 (shameful, I know...) spent the afternoon going to the doctor then running a few errands, and by the time we got home I was pooped. So we got a redbox and ordered pizza. What a good night. It was so fun to be lazy and feel like we were dating again (movies on the couch, staying up late, etc ). Tuesday was crazy for Gideon with work and school, so somehow on Wednesday (our other day off) we slept in until 11 AGAIN. We keep saying we'll get up early and get a head start on the day, but really, why?? Soon we'll never sleep again. So we're soakin' it up. We went to the movies Wednesday night and loved it. Gideon only has classes 2 days a week this semester instead of 3, which feels like a HUGE change. Also, his classes aren't nearly as intense. It's been so so so wonderful to see more of each other and really get to hang out together. We went out for Sushi last week and have a few more places on the list to go. Of course, all these nights-on-the-town are funded by awesome coupon deals that we find and/or gift cards from Christmas. Couldn't have come at a better time! By 9 o'clock I'm dead tired and ready for bed, but it sure is fun enjoying the early evening.

Right now I'm washing a load of baby clothes to have ready when we bring this little guy home from the hospital. Also on the list this week: pack my hospital bag. The clock is ticking and I am officially anxious. I'm starting to realize that all the miserable symptoms that come with pregnancy are worth it because, at the end. . . you get a BABY!! We can hardly stand the wait at this point. The other night Gideon was asking me about everything that's going to happen in the delivery room right after I have the baby. (I plan to breastfeed right away, so he just wanted to know when it would be his turn to hold our little son). I laughed and told him he'd get to hold him right away! He was still a little serious and said, in the most loving and sweet tone, "Ok, just don't hog him, Ok?" I love that my little boy has a dad who is desperately in love with him already.

LOVE it.

Procrastination

For some reason, when I know there's something I should do, even if it's an easy thing, I tend to avoid it. Example: Blogging. Vacuuming. Returning a shirt to target that's been sitting in the backseat of my car (recently moved to the trunk) for weeks. I really don't know what my problem is but I should really teach myself to get over it. Really. So after I post this . . . I . . .will . . .vacuum.

Christmas was wonderful! We spent Christmas Eve with Jared and Lynn. Lynn made us dinner and I made cheese balls and sugar cookies and we watched it's a wonderful life. Christmas day we headed up to the Smylie's for some family togetherness time. It was such a good holiday. We stayed up way too late, ate way too much and talked until my throat hurt. We loved it. We also managed to get up to Salt Lake to see the lights at temple square. It was FREEZING but the lights were so pretty! New year's came and went, and so far at the top of my new years resolution list is to expel a baby!! Seriously, my list looks like this. . .

Have the baby

Run a 1/2 Marathon (by September)

Birth the baby

Read the Book of Mormon

Get the baby out.

I always dreamed of being pregnant and while I have LOVED so many aspects of it, I admit it's not quite all it's cracked up to be. Today I got caught by surprise with a vomiting spell and it happened on my carpet. ON MY CARPET. Isn't that what people say about their two year old who got sick?!? Not to a grown woman. I have about this much pride left. I have a bum in my left ribs and two feet in my right, and a very hard head on top of my bladder. But I have to say, I love feeling so close to this little boy who will one day think I am such a dorky parent. I love feeling him try to get comfy in there or have the hiccups. I just think my skin might tear open at any moment, so it's a good thing he is coming out soon (hopefully). It really is a mix of emotions. I love knowing he's safe in there but I also just want him to come out so badly. Seven weeks and counting. I am so excited to meet this wild little man!

Also: I was deathly ill all last week and now that I am recovering, I seem to have lost more brain cells. I don't know if this is post sickness brain fog or pregnancy related, but I really am the biggest space case on the planet. So please excuse me if you have a conversation with me and it seems as though I'm not all there.

The temple looked so beautiful with all the trees lit up around it!

A little too frozen for a real smile from either of us . . .

The belly has come in handy for eating on the couch!

32 weeks. Sorry I always post these pictures so late that it's almost time for another. I'm now 33 weeks.

And finally, a picture of my wonderful husband, apron and all. This was on Christmas Eve, helping me cook. He has been such a great help during this pregnancy with stuff, especially in the kitchen! Love you honey.